


memento mori

by technobladelovebot



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft - Fandom, mcyt
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28165752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technobladelovebot/pseuds/technobladelovebot
Summary: you and technoblade have been best friends for years, but you find yourself interested in wilbur... or do you?
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade/You, Technoblade/Reader, Wilbur Soot/Reader, Wilbur Soot/You, technoblade/reader/wilbur soot
Comments: 28
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted on my tumblr <3 lmk if i should post the second part.

⠀⠀⠀for the first time in so long, it was just you and wilbur. there was no rowdy tommy running around and yelling, and no loud technoblade rambling on and demanding attention. it was just you, wilbur, and the crackling fireplace.  
⠀⠀⠀you and wilbur were laying together in the small bed. he was humming a tune, and you were simply listening. you weren’t sure when it changed from an innocent moment, to something more. you wouldn’t complain, though. his hands was on your body, and yours were tangled in his hair. before long, wilbur had pulled off his shirt, and was removing yours too. he stopped though, when he found a particular scar. one that you had hidden, and one you wished you could forget.  
⠀⠀⠀“the letter t…” wilbur traced the scar before he leaned away from you, “is it for techno?”  
⠀⠀⠀you nodded hesitantly, “it’s not what you think—”  
⠀⠀⠀“you don’t have to explain,” wilbur sighed and grabbed his shirt, “you and him were always the closest. i’m surprised i even got you alone tonight.”  
⠀⠀⠀you followed suit and pulled your own shirt on like wilbur had. you tried to place a hand on his face, but he turned away. while technoblade was your best friend, it had always been wilbur you had feelings for. at least, that’s what you thought.  
⠀⠀⠀“can i explain?” you asked, looking down at your lap nervously.  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur wordlessly nodded, and you exhaled deeply. it wasn’t quite a pleasant memory. it was your first big fight with your best friend, and it was perhaps the thing that finally began to drive the two of you apart.  
⠀⠀⠀“it was a few months ago…”  
⠀⠀⠀you began to tell the story.  
⠀⠀⠀  
[ flashback ]  
⠀⠀⠀“technoblade never dies!” your friend was practically screaming.  
⠀⠀⠀you had never feared technoblade. you didn’t fear him when phil had to break up your sparring matches as a child, you didn’t fear him when he accidentally took his anger out on you. but now, at this very moment, your dear friend was a stranger. looking into his eyes, you didn’t see technoblade staring back. you saw someone blood thirsty.  
⠀⠀⠀“youre an idiot,” your tone was steady and emotionless, “you are mortal just like the rest of us.”  
⠀⠀⠀he let out an evil laugh, almost doubling over. you didn’t join in the laughing, you just stood there and stared. you were still in your full netherite armor on, and you gripped your sword tightly.  
⠀⠀⠀“oh,” technoblade stopped laughing and looked between your expressionless face and your hold on your sword, “you weren’t joking.”  
⠀⠀⠀without saying anything else, you dropped your sword. you tossed your shield to the side, snatched off your helmet, unhooked your chest plate. before long, you were standing in front of technoblade. you were bare, almost. the only thing protecting you from the cool breeze was a thin shirt, a pair of pants, and socks. you put your fists up in a defensive manner and raised an eyebrow at techno.  
⠀⠀⠀“let’s see how /perfect/ you are without any armor, weapons, or potions.”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade followed suit and dropped his own weapons and armor. the two of your grappled and wrestled for a while. having grown up with technoblade, you had memorized many of his go-to attacks and defenses. you were by no means a perfect or even /great/ fighter. you just knew technoblade. with one mistake of his, you swiped your leg at his ankles and he fell over. you quickly straddled his torso, and whipped out a pocket knife. you carved your initial into the slightly exposed skin of his upper chest.  
⠀⠀⠀“memento mori,” you said when you pulled back, “remember you /can/ die. if i had been an enemy, you would be dead—”  
⠀⠀⠀your sentence was interrupted by technoblade quickly reversing the situation. you were pinned beneath him, and your snatched your knife from you. without saying anything, or breaking eye contact, technoblade began to carve a small T into your collar bone.  
⠀⠀⠀“memento mori.” he said quietly.  
⠀⠀⠀before you could reply, he got up and tossed your knife to the ground. you laid there for a second, wondering what exactly had just happened. technoblade didn’t offer you help, he just gathered his things and left you laying in the middle of the woods.  
[ flashback over ]  
⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur finally looked up to meet your eyes, but his face was unreadable. that memory of you and technoblade was something you had wanted to take to your grave, so telling wilbur wasnt exactly something you had wanted to do.  
⠀⠀⠀“will please say something.” you pleaded.  
⠀⠀⠀“he loves you,” wilbur sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “hes loved you forever, and i… i shouldn’t be here with you. it’s not right.”  
⠀⠀⠀“what are you saying?”  
⠀⠀⠀“bro code, y/n. goodnight,” wilburs voice was impossibly soft, “i’ll be back tomorrow to take you to him.”  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur didnt wait for you to say anything. he stood up from the bed and grabbed his things. you wanted more than anything to get up, and pull him back to the bed. but your couldn’t force yourself to stand up.  
⠀⠀⠀“what about what i want?” you couldn’t look at him, you were afraid you’d cry.  
⠀⠀⠀there was a moment of hesitation from wilbur, but he shook his head.  
⠀⠀⠀“goodnight, y/n. sweet dreams.”  
⠀⠀⠀with that, wilbur walked out of the small house and left you to think about what— about /who/ you wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and wilbur go see technoblade.

⠀⠀⠀that night, you could barely sleep. your mind was far too occupied on the matter at hand. what had you gotten yourself into? technoblade loved you? you supposed the signs were all there. technoblade was not exactly a friendly person. he was a little rough around the edges, but he had always been different with you. he didn’t baby you, but he protective of you. you and he were best friends, after all.  
⠀⠀⠀but did you return those feelings? laying in bed, you began to wonder. could you see yourself forming a romantic relationship with technoblade? the man who knew the most about you, and who had always stood up for you?  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur crossed your mind. his soft smile, and gentle hands. almost the opposite of technoblade. wilbur was the one you wanted. maybe it was wrong of you to fall for your best friends brother, but you couldn’t help it.  
⠀⠀⠀after a dreamless sleep, you woke up to a series of light knocks at your door. before you could answer, wilbur walked in. his hair was still disheveled, and he had bags under his eyes. considering the two of you were visitors in a random village, you had to wonder where he had slept.  
⠀⠀⠀“wil,” you said sleepily, “it’s so early.”  
⠀⠀⠀“we have a long walk,” wilbur laughed a little and sat on the edge of the bed near where you were laying, “y/n i’m sorry about leaving you last night… i just needed to think.”  
⠀⠀⠀with a small smile, you had sat up from your bed and hugged wilbur. you wanted to tell him it was okay, and that you still only wanted him. but, those were words for another time. wilbur ran a hand through your messy bed-head, and laughed again.  
⠀⠀⠀“go take a shower, sleepyhead.” wilbur stood up and looked around, “i’ll make a light breakfast.”   
⠀⠀⠀after your shower, you put on a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt. you knew it would be hot, but wear shorts and a tank top under your armor would leave blisters.  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur smiled at you, and handed you a plate. it was just an omelette, but you were thankful. breakfast was never really your thing. you and wilbur ate in silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other.  
⠀⠀⠀“wilbur, i—” you wanted to talk about everything, but when you met his tired eyes you knew /he/ wasn’t ready to talk, “... thank you for the meal.”  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur gave a soft smile, “you’re welcome, y/n.”  
⠀⠀⠀after breakfast, you slowly put on your armor. you remembered mining the netherite with technoblade, and he even enchanted the armor for you. you shook your head, those weren’t thoughts you should be focusing on. wilbur helped fasten the straps on your chest plate, and you couldn’t help but notice his hands lingering for a second. or was that just your imagination?  
⠀⠀⠀you fastening your sword to one hip, and your axe to the other. glancing at wilbur, you saw him only wearing a chest plate and holding a shield. you raised an eyebrow. half of the country hated them, and wilbur still refused to wear full armor?  
⠀⠀⠀“wheres your pants? and helmet?” you asked, concern lacing your voice.  
⠀⠀⠀wilbur shrugged, “i’m a grown man, y/n. i don’t need you policing me.”  
⠀⠀⠀you nodded shallowly, and picked up your bag with your remaining items in it. you were already sweating, and you hadn’t even started the long trek to wherever technoblade was staying.  
⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀the walk was long, and your feet were aching. the bag on your shoulders felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and your boots felt they were made of lead. you were so hot, you had to take off your helmet and toss it in your bag. it didn’t help much, your hair was sticking to your face. looking at wilbur, he didn’t seem to be doing much better. just when you began to feel like you couldn’t take another step, you saw a small hut come into view.  
⠀⠀⠀“y/n—” technoblades rough voice cut the air as he stepped outside to greet you and wilbur.  
⠀⠀⠀“techno!” you rushed forward and all but collapsed in his arms, “please tell me you have some cool water.  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade laughed a little and hoisted you into his arms to help you inside. normally, you would object. especially with wilbur right behind you. but at the moment you were too exhausted to care.  
⠀⠀⠀“you look horrible,” technoblade said as he sat you on his bed inside, “and you don’t look much better, wilbur.”  
⠀⠀⠀the brothers shared a look for a moment, before wilbur took a seat on the ground beside your feet. technoblades ‘house’ was barely a house. there was a bed, a few chests, and a furnace. maybe there was more, but you couldn’t see it. it wasn’t much, but you knew technoblade hadn’t had much time to focus on a house.  
⠀⠀⠀“this place is nice,” you said with a stifled laugh as you began to take off your boots and armor pants, “i can tell you put a lot of effort in.”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade laughed a little and handed you and wilbur each a glass of water. wilbur had been uncharacteristically quiet, but you brushed it off as him just being tired from the long walk.  
⠀⠀⠀“i appreciate you getting your sweat all over my bed, y/n.” technoblade rolled his eyes and sat on a chest across the room.   
⠀⠀⠀“if i remember correctly, you sat me down here.” you raised an eyebrow, and technoblade raised his hands in mock surrender.  
⠀⠀⠀before you or technoblade could say anything, wilbur got to his feet and clapped his hands together. wilbur spared you a quick glance before he looked back to his brother.  
⠀⠀⠀“we have to uh, discuss something’s. about l’manburg, pogtopia, all of that.” wilbur said as he stretched.  
⠀⠀⠀“yeah of course,” technoblade stood up but glanced over at you, “uh y/n just make yourself at home. me and wilbur will be back later, yeah?”  
⠀⠀⠀you nodded, and grabbed your bag from the floor. the first thing you wanted to do was shower and change out of your sweaty clothes.  
⠀⠀⠀after you cleaned up, you laid in technoblades bed and stretched your tired body. your muscles were tense, and your bones ached. you weren’t soldier material. but, for wilbur and technoblade you’d force yourself into this lifestyle. it wasn’t long before you drifted off to sleep.  
⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀outside the house, technoblade and wilbur sat. they had been discussing strategies for overthrowing schlatt, but there was still something else they had to discuss.  
⠀⠀⠀“are we selfish for dragging y/n into the middle of this?” wilbur asked quietly, “y/n could’ve been safe in l’manburg…”  
⠀⠀⠀“you know y/n is the stubbornest person i know, they’d have come no matter if we wanted them to or not.” technoblade looked at his brother, and could tell there was something more on his mind, “what’s really on your mind?”  
⠀⠀⠀“oh uhh…” wilbur took a glance inside the window at your resting body and he sighed, “y/n told me something… they said they like me.”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. he thought you and him shared some bond, but it was obviously platonic. what did his brother have that he didn’t? well, technoblade thought, there was the charisma and the kindheart and the— technoblade shook his head.   
⠀⠀⠀“that’s great,” technoblade clapped wilburs shoulder, “why do you feel so down about it?”  
⠀⠀⠀“because i have to leave,” wilbur kicked a rock, “i have to leave, and you’re the only one i trust to protect y/n.”  
⠀⠀⠀to say technoblade was furious would be an understatement. wilbur dragged you across the country, only to leave you? technoblade didn’t know the details, but if you said you liked wilbur that made the situation so much worse.  
⠀⠀⠀“you cant just leave y/n, i have shit to do too.”  
⠀⠀⠀the two brothers argued, until finally wilbur stormed inside and grabbed his things. technoblade reminded wilbur that you would be upset, but wilbur left anyways. maybe wilbur was the selfish one, and it wasn’t technoblade after all.  
⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀the next day, you woke up to the sound of metal scraping stone. you recognized the sound as tehcnoblade sharpening his axe. you say up from the bed and stretched, your bones cracked and ached in an unfamiliar way and technoblades head popped up. he sat his axe on the ground beside him, and got to his feet.  
⠀⠀⠀“how’d you sleep?” technoblade asked as he sat at the foot of the bed.  
⠀⠀⠀“i slept alright,” you didn’t pay technoblade much attention and your head bobbed around the room looking for wilbur, “wheres will?”  
⠀⠀⠀you swung your feet to the ground, and went to stand up but technoblade placed a hand in your shoulder. you gave him a confused look, and he just sighed.  
⠀⠀⠀“wilbur… he left.”  
⠀⠀⠀“what?” you thought this was some joke, but technoblade was being far too serious, “why would he just leave me here?”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade shrugged, “something about wanting to keep you safe.”  
⠀⠀⠀you shrugged technoblades hand off and laughed a little. the sound was dry and humorless, though.   
⠀⠀⠀“y/n—”  
⠀⠀⠀“you know, in his mind he probably thinks he’s being selfless and heroic. but you know something?” you looked over at technoblade.  
⠀⠀⠀“what?” technoblades voice was softer than you even knew he was capable of.  
⠀⠀⠀“he’s selfish. but hey, i should’ve known better right? i’ll never be a priority. not to him, and not to you.”  
⠀⠀⠀“now y/n, i don’t speak for wilbur, but to me you’re always a priority.” technoblade was a little hurt. did you really think that?  
⠀⠀⠀“to wilbur, his priority is l’manburg. and to you, your priority is overthrowing this government.” you shook your head slightly and bit your lip.  
⠀⠀⠀“that’s just no true.”  
⠀⠀⠀“okay then let’s go.” you stood up and looked at technoblade, “let’s leave right now, just me and you. let’s run or ride or swim or boat, or hell let’s portal hop. let’s just go and find a far away village, somewhere untouched by war. and let’s stay there. just you and me, and let’s start a life. no more overthrowing governments, no more fighting. just us.”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade looked at you, and his mouth fell open slightly. were you serious? you knew he had things to do now, and he couldn’t just leave.  
⠀⠀⠀“exactly,” you nodded and sat back down, “that’s why i could never choose you, and i guess… i guess i shouldn’t have chose wilbur either.”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade sighed, and stood up. he walked outside to leave you to your thoughts. what had his brother done?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you begin to wonder if you ever knew technoblade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so please tell me which y’all want:  
> 1) reader chooses technoblade: you find him in retirement and talk shit out (and maybe following chapters to keep up to date with the current arc)  
> 2) reader meets ghostbur, misses wilbur, gives him one of readers lives, and it ends happy or whatever

⠀⠀⠀the weeks following were filled with preparation. technoblade met with people, he formed alliances. he fought in a few small battles, and of course he won. when technoblade was not out meeting with the proclaimed enemies of manburg, you and him were steadily working. you had helped him mine iron, diamonds, lapis— anything he needed. you even taught him a few potions, and helped keep up your small gardens.  
⠀⠀⠀while you were quite angry for a while, the two of you eventually fell into an almost intimate lifestyle. for a period of time, you two even shared a bed. it was easy to forget what was happening; it was easy to convince yourself that the two of you were children again and that philza would surely yell at them for staying up too late. but, that simply was not the circumstances. technoblade was a borderline war criminal, and you were his accomplice.  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade never brought up the situation with wilbur, and you didn’t either. although, wilbur never left your mind. there was the occasional time when technoblade would come home utterly exhausted and would let it slip he had seen wilbur. he would never elaborate, and would right it off as a slip of his tongue and say he /hadn’t/ seen or heard from wilbur. you knew it was a lie though. you saw the poorly hidden letters, and heard the poorly whispered conversations. wilbur was not doing good, if only you could see him. . .  
⠀⠀⠀what was your plan for if you saw him? he was nothing if not stubborn. his brain was so fixated on saving his country, you couldn’t help but wonder what he would do to bring down the government currently instated. where did wilbur draw the line between saving and destroying a country. . ?  
⠀⠀⠀“y/n?”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblades voice brought you back from your thoughts, you had been in the garden when your mind wondered to wilbur.  
⠀⠀⠀“yeah?” you stood up from the dirt and turned to face technoblade, “are you leaving again- - do you need food?”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade let his axe drop from his shoulder and he shook his head, “no i was wondering if you’d come with me.”  
⠀⠀⠀“oh?” you stood up a little straighter, “where are we going?”  
⠀⠀⠀there was a moment of silence between the two of you. technoblade stared at the ground, and dug his axes head into the ground weakly. for technoblade you be at a loss of words, you knew it was something bad.  
⠀⠀⠀“l’manburg. it’s going to be a fight, i won’t lie. but if we can pull this off, this country will finally be free of government and…”  
⠀⠀⠀“and?” you cocked your head to the side in confusion.  
⠀⠀⠀“and, i can finally i dunno…” technoblade cleared his throat, “settle down? with no more government and no more wars, i could be a guy you’d want to choose..”  
⠀⠀⠀you were confused. what was technoblade rambling about? then, it hit you. a conversation you had weeks ago… ‘and let’s start a life. no more overthrowing governments, no more fighting. just us.’  
⠀⠀⠀“techno, i—”  
⠀⠀⠀you werent sure what to say to ease his mind. not that you weren’t grateful for him, settling down with him simply wasn’t the life you wanted. your feelings for wilbur were still there, even if you wanted to punch him.  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade scoffed and shook his head. he claimed his statement was a joke, and rambled on about how he would never settle down. his one love would be anarchy and violence. you could tell he was lying, but you were thankful for the topic change.  
⠀⠀⠀after a quick shower, you started packing your things. there wasn’t many things you held that were sentimental, so packing was easy. armor, weapons, food, potions. then, a small book. the book was an old birthday gift for wilbur and technoblade. the first page was a picture of the three of you. you were all asleep sitting around the fireplace in their childhood home. technoblades sat with his back against the wall, your head was in his lap, and wilbur was slumped with his arms wrapped around your legs. tommy was a blur in the background, you assumed he was trying to photobomb before philza took the picture. the next pages of the book were written respectively by technoblade and wilbur.  
⠀⠀⠀a heavy hand on your shoulder made the happy memory disappear. you looked up at technoblade, his face was unreadable. his eyes cling to the old picture, and you slammed the book shut and shoved it inside your book bag. you couldn’t get sentimental now, especially not with the hike you were about to have to trek.  
⠀⠀⠀“wilbur will be there.”  
⠀⠀⠀normally you would be ecstatic, but technoblades tone had you worried. how was wilbur? why was he going to fight? wilburs strength was his way of words, not his way with a sword. you were far from a fighter and even you had been able to best wilbur multiple times. you would admit, the details of the situation were scarce. you trusted technoblade, and wouldn’t leave his side but you were worried. why was he only just now bringing you out to fight? you had stayed with him for how long?  
⠀⠀⠀your armor seemed to fit better, and lighter these days. you supposed it was all the training you did with technoblade in your free time. your shoulders didn’t ache as bad, and your ankles were left far less blistered. when you finally met the group of rebels, you were visibly disappointed to not see wilbur. technoblade noticed but said nothing. what was he hiding? you couldn’t help but wonder. . .  
⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀things were going great. there had been minimal violence, you hadn’t even raised your sword yet. your eyes only searched for wilbur. then, oh then /it/ happened. there was a domino effect of things.  
⠀⠀⠀schlatt dies, wilbur is elected, then the role of president is passed around until it settles on tubbo. you hadn’t been able to talk to wilbur yet, but your eyes met for one second. his eyes were tired, and dull. what had he been up to? you started to cross the crowd to him when there was a familiar shot. tubbos body collapses and technoblades voice rings out. now, people were angry. there was fights breaking out; ally against ally. something told you to find technoblade, stick with him. you had promised your loyalty to him. but. . .  
⠀⠀⠀where had wilbur gone? you /had/ to see him. how many lives did he have left? one, he had one. you had to find him, you had to get wilbur out of there. technoblade was planning something, and you knew it. whatever his plan was, you needed to get wilbur out of there before it was too late.  
⠀⠀⠀your heavy netherite armor was weighing you down as you weaved through the crowd. you tossed your helmet to the side, and kicked off your boots. wilbur, where was he? technoblade, where was he? you yelled wilburs name over the chaos, but nobody was there to answer.  
⠀⠀⠀before you could process what happened, you were flat on your back. an explosion, you thought. there were craters around you, and people flying and landing and screaming. your ears were ringing, and blood dripped from your ears and your nose and other scrapes everywhere. you slowly got to your feet and swayed, your eyes finally came into focus and you saw /him/. wilbur. you crossed the craters, and stumbled to the ground a few times. your depth perception was gone. did you have a concussion?  
⠀⠀⠀“wilbur…”  
⠀⠀⠀you whispered the name as you partially crawled through the destruction. your eyes finally focused entirely, and your world had mostly stopped shaking. but, what you saw was not something you wanted to see. philza stood over wilbur, a bloody sword in his hand.  
⠀⠀⠀“phil!” you screamed, and rushed over to the body as quickly as you could, “get away from him!”  
⠀⠀⠀you reached for your own sword, but it wasn’t there. had you lost it in the explosion? it didn’t matter now. by the time you reached wilbur, phil had walked away and left the sword. you’d find him, though. you had to confront him after. you crouched beside wilbur and took his face in your hands. when you planned to see wilbur again this was not what you had in mind.  
⠀⠀⠀“wilbur?” your voice was barely a whisper, but wilburs eyelids peeled themselves open, “why would you leave me?”  
⠀⠀⠀“my l’manburg…” wilburs voice was distant, “i had to save it.”  
⠀⠀⠀behind you was the sound of total destruction. was this what wilbur wanted? you closed your eyes for a second, and felt a familiar hand weakly reach up to cup your face.  
⠀⠀⠀“youre bleeding? why are you bleeding?”  
⠀⠀⠀you choked on a small but pained laugh, “it’s nothing, will. why don’t you take a little nap, and i’ll tell you later.”  
⠀⠀⠀“i am a little sleepy…”  
⠀⠀⠀wilburs eyes fluttered shut, and you just held him. when you could finally feel the life had left wilbur, you choked on a sob and got to your feet. you picked up the sword, the one that dripped wilburs blood, and looked out at the people. had technoblade planned this? had dream? you’d kill whoever—  
⠀⠀⠀“y/n,” technoblades voice cut the crowd and you made eye contact.  
⠀⠀⠀there was so much happening around you. there was withers, fighting, and you were covered in blood. why had technoblade dragged you out here for /this/? surely, he had known something like this would happen. had it been his idea for wilbur to rig the country with tnt and die?  
⠀⠀⠀“why did you do this,” you raised your sword and pointed it at technoblade, “why did you do /this/?”  
⠀⠀⠀“don’t play the hero now, y/n.” there was a dangerous edge to technoblades voice, “there are no heroes here!”  
⠀⠀⠀‘do you want to be a hero tommy? then die like this!’  
⠀⠀⠀“who gave you the right to be judge, jury, and executioner?” you laughed a little, “you’re not god! you’re just another man.”  
⠀⠀⠀what happened to the technoblade you grew up with? the one who taught you to climb trees, and hid behind doors to scare wilbur? the one who would sneak an extra snack even though phil had insisted to not eat anything until dinner? the one who taught you to fight so nobody could never take anything from you?  
⠀⠀⠀which was the real technoblade? the defender, or the villain? you couldn’t even be sure anymore.  
⠀⠀⠀“if i find out you played part in wilburs death, i will kill you.” you spit on the ground beside technoblades feet, and turned to walk away, “today proves i really have no idea who you are, so just… just stay away.”   
⠀⠀⠀technoblade had taught you everything you knew. how would he feel when you played his own tricks against him? your mind was already spinning with ideas. . .


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> technoblade denies he family dynamic, so now we’re going with a found family thing :) ps enjoy this little techno pov

⠀⠀⠀“if i find out you played a part in wilburs death, i’ll kill you.”  
⠀⠀⠀your words had shook technoblade to his core. he thought over them often. the way the blood and debris coated your skin and the way tears pricked the corners of your eyes. technoblade had seen you mad, but never was the anger directed at him.  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade still had a job to complete. he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way. they were electing a new government, already. this time, dream was forcing the crown onto george’s head. technoblade surprised, but at the same time he wasn’t. technoblade had explained multiple times that government would corrupt, and yet dream still designated george to sit on the throne. had that been dreams intentions the entire time? technoblade couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad as he assassinated george. besides, george would have two lives left.  
⠀⠀⠀after king george was out of the picture, technoblade found himself without a goal. with no clear goal in mind, his mind often wondered back to you. technoblade remembered returning to the small base that you and him had shared for so long, only to find it empty. it wasn’t that he didn’t deserve it, but it still hurt. maybe you were right, maybe he was the bad guy. but had everyone else not fueled his anger? had they not filled his head with the ideas of well needed anarchy?  
⠀⠀⠀the voices in his head. . . they were so loud sometimes. they screamed for blood, and sometimes it made him feel like his brain was splitting. he needed to get away, being near l’manburg only made the demand for violence all the louder. but first, technoblade needed advice.  
⠀⠀⠀phil was the only person left for technoblade to turn to. phil had always been like family to technoblade, and surely he would be able to help technoblade out in this situation. technoblade needed help moving into his new house anyways.  
⠀⠀⠀“i think i need help,” technoblade sat down at a table with phil.  
⠀⠀⠀“what with?” phil placed a bowl of soup in front of technoblade and sat down to eat his own, “we brought your mobs over, and you seem to be pretty well settled into your house here. what else do you need?”  
⠀⠀⠀there was a moment of silence. the dull sound of spoons hitting the bowls was the only sound to be heard. when phil saw technoblade not eating, he let his own spoon clatter into the bowl as he stared at his friend.  
⠀⠀⠀“is it because of the fights?” phil inquired, “i’ll join you in your anarchy, i’ll fight with you—”  
⠀⠀⠀“no,” technoblade interrupted again, “i’m putting my life of violence behind me. i’m going into retirement.”  
⠀⠀⠀“then what’s troubling you?”  
⠀⠀⠀there it was again, the silence. technoblade wasn’t sure what to say, or how to say it. he was never the best with words, especially when it came to genuine feelings. technoblade let out a sigh, and ran a hand through his hair. it had been a while since he had a haircut. in fact, the last time it had been cut was with you.  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade had come home from an exhausting reconnaissance mission. you were still awake, you had been up waiting for him to come home safely. at the sight of the scuffed looking technoblade, you pulled him in for a tight hug and made a light hearted joke about the length of his hair. after a shower, technoblade let you cut his hair. considering how much technoblade hated sharp things near his face, it was a serious sign of the trust technoblade had in you. the night had ended with the two of you falling asleep beside each other.  
⠀⠀⠀thinking back on it, had that been the last time you hugged him? the last time he had heard your laugh? why did the happy memories of you feel so tainted by the cruel look he saw last time he saw you.  
⠀⠀⠀“ah,” phil smiled a little, “its y/n, isn’t it?”  
⠀⠀⠀technoblade let out a groan and let his head drop to the table. phil laughed at the dramatic act. technoblade wanted to make a comment about how it /wasn’t/ funny, but phil didn’t even know about how things with you ended.  
⠀⠀⠀“i messed up, phil. i brought y/n to manburg, and they had to see wilbur die…”  
⠀⠀⠀“i know,” phil’s demeanor changed and he sighed softly, “i saw them for a second…”  
⠀⠀⠀“i brought them because… well because things weren’t supposed to happen like that. wilbur wasn’t supposed to die, and a new government wasn’t supposed to be instated,” technoblade sat his head back up and looked at phil, “but, things went bad. and y/n hates me and blames me for wilburs death. i just wanted to, i dunno, show them what wilbur had abandoned them for. it was stupid, and selfish, and i was jealous, i know…”  
⠀⠀⠀the two continued to talk, mostly about you. phil had said he didn’t believe you really liked wilbur the way you said. it always had been technoblade and y/n against the world, when had wilbur come into the picture? he always a background character in the friendship. at least, that’s what technoblade always saw. what had you seen?  
⠀⠀⠀“i guess i shouldn’t be too surprised y/n would fall for wilbur,” technoblade sighed again, “wilburs the romeo type, and i’m more mercutio.”  
⠀⠀⠀“they all died in the end.” phil reminded.  
⠀⠀⠀romeo poisons himself. juliet stabs herself. they die for ‘love.’ and mercutio? it’s his loyalty that gets him killed.  
⠀⠀⠀“yeah, they do die don’t they?” technoblade smiled sadly and looked down at his hands, “but don’t we all die?”  
⠀⠀⠀memento mori, you had told him once. memento mori.


End file.
